Sex can mean different to different people. It is not just an activity to make babies. Sex is much more than just sexual intercourse. It is a powerful emotional experience and a tool to make you feel connected with your partner in ways words can never do. What a person wants in sex can be very different from person to person. This is why, experimenting is fun. Exploring our bodies, understanding what it is that gives us pleasure, masturbating, touching ourselves; these are all different forms of sex. Engaging in touching and kissing with our partner, that leads to a satisfying session of lovemaking, is yet another form of sex.
Sex does not only vary from person to person, it also varies from age to age of the same person. Every age in our life has its own benefits and requirements; when it comes to sex. From exploring ourselves and our needs to achieving the best orgasms of our lives, and a lot more play, these are all the destinations that we go through in our lifetime.
On one hand, hormones do play a significant role in making our libido; however, it is not known what the extent of the same is. Other factors like – psychological, physical and social – also play their parts in making of our libido; at every age.
The 20’s
The young adults are often known to be having the most sex, not all good though. This is actually the time when everyone is exploring themselves. The testosterone levels are high and so is the anxiety and nervousness because of lack of experience. The lack of knowledge and the stigma around sex also play a major role in creating mayhem in the sex life of the young adults. On one hand, these are considered to be the most fertile years in the life of a woman, which makes her very picky on who to have sex with; on the other hand her testosterone does not let her keep calm in the sack. For men there are always the high testosterone levels that are playing their hand and the fear of rejection is dealing them a bad hand too.
Both men and women need to understand that this is an age to explore, not just your bodies but yourselves as well. Take your time with choosing a long term, not necessarily a lifelong; partner to cater to the needs of your body. This should be someone who understands you and vice versa – In order for you to have mutually satisfying sex. This does not mean that it is imperative that this is a lifelong commitment; it can be just the two of you in the moment enjoying each other, also if it does turn out to be a lifelong commitment, nothing wrong there too. Sex being a powerful emotion in itself, can confuse you about your true feelings for your current partner. Nevertheless, keep having sex, in whatever form you enjoy the most and NEVER FORGET to use PROTECTION.
The 30’s & 40’s
Thirty is an attitude. This age is your prime in terms of your career and life goals. If you’re married you’re to have kids, if not, you’re to get married. This is the age where the family expects the most of you; even you expect the most of you. Amidst all these expectations your sex drive takes a back seat, even though you’re also in your sexual prime. Up until the age of 35, most men tend to have high libidos as a result of high testosterone levels. Post that the testosterone levels starts going down, approximately 1% every year. For women too this is considered to be her prime sexual age. Studies have shown that women between the ages of 27-45 have more frequent and intense orgasms. However, life and career too are at their peak.
This vicious game plan of life is not impossible to beat. Weather you have a steady partner or not, this is the time when you know exactly what you want and how you want it in bed. However, the major enemy here is time and energy along with its friends, stress of work, family and commitments.
It is imperative that you tend to your sexual needs at this age or it can make life all the more difficult for you. The lack of regular sex can lead to a lot of emotional distress and can negatively impact your work as well. Communicate about your needs with your partner and pay heed to their needs as well. It is important that they feel heard and respected. Make sure that you not only work hard in office but also in the bedroom to achieve a mutually satisfying lovemaking session. You need not have sex every time. You can cuddle, touch each other softly, kiss a lot, give each other oral pleasure or masturbate with or for one another. All or a combination of these can give the much needed boost to your relationship as well as your mental and emotional well being. In order to spice up your sex life, try all the things that you have been thinking about, or haven’t done so far. Things like B.D.S.M. or light bondage, role-playing, trying newer positions, having sex with lights on, tantric sex, rough sex, etc. Create a bucket list and go for it whenever you can.
50’s and beyond
Technically, this is a time when life expects you to slow down a bit. Take a breath, analyze, and regroup – physically and mentally. An individual with healthy mind and body at 50 & beyond can have as much sex as they would like to have; however this is a time when people start getting a lot of health issues like – heart diseases, diabetes, high cholesterol, obesity, blood pressure issues, menopause, etc. whose medications can have adverse effects on your libido. Men tend to have less often and less firm erections and women tend to have vaginal dryness. Some older adults feel conscious about their aging body and thus worry about wrinkle, love handles and men especially start having “performance” issues. There are also cases of illness or loss of partner which makes it all the more difficult to have regular sex. Without the correct information and an open mind, a temporary problem can soon become a permanent one. Take corrective measures like getting regular health check-ups and having open, honest and vulnerable conversations with your partner, peers and doctor/s.
On the other hand, this is an age where people are great deal more confident and aware of their wants and desires in bed. They are also relatively free from worries of work, children and other such commitments. This gives them the perfect mental space and peace to enjoy as much sex as they want at any time and in any way they deem fit. This phase also requires for you to try newer things and a change in schedules. Like instead of having an intercourse you can cuddle for hours with your partner, help or watch each other masturbate, change your time of having sex to early morning rather than after a long day. Being pro-active and setting a time-table for when to have sex and complying to it can do wonders for your sex life at 50 & beyond.
As you age your capability to have sex may decrease, depending on your health; however, your need to feel emotionally connected with your partner and the desire for intimacy and pleasure only enhances with time. It is imperative for you to communicate with your partner openly and let them know about what your needs and desires are and listen to them too. With proper information and support your later years can be an exciting time to explore both the emotional and sensual aspects of your relationship.
Sex is a powerful emotional experience and a great means on improving your physical as well as mental health, at any age. The need for intimacy is ageless, no matter your age you can enjoy sex for as long as you wish. Age naturally plays a vital role in the act of sex, but intimacy with your partner can be achieved in more ways than one and multiple times in a day. Having an orgasm post 50 is most certainly cherry on the cake, but the absence of one, does not mean you’re not doing it right. There is nothing right or wrong when it comes to enjoying intimate moments with your partner.
