5 Types of People in the Bedroom and How to Deal with Them
When you are starting a new relationship, there is already a lot of anxiety around how things will turn out – you are trying to know a new person, adjusted to her/his behaviour and meanwhile also trying to find happiness for yourself. Amidst all of this, wouldn’t it be great if you had a cheat-sheet available to you, about the most prevalent behaviours in the bedroom and how to deal with them? That’s exactly what we have for you here. Read our new blog here and head into the bedroom with more confidence!
There is a popular belief that if you want understand the true personality of man, observe what he does when all the doors and windows are closed. This might work very well for a professor of psychology trying to study human behaviour; but if you are trying to understand your partner in a fresh relationship, you want to be prepared for whatever you are about to experience.
Yes, surprise and spontaneity have their own thrills, but they are not equally distributed amongst all people; more than that, spontaneity arises only when both of you are totally involved into each other and are above all inhibitions.
Hence, here are the 5 major types of people in the bedroom and your cheat-sheet on how to deal with them to maximize your pleasure:
The Nervous Lover
This would be a person who hasn’t had a lot of sensual experiences. This is by no means a judgement of who or what they or on what they can do for you; but it ensures one thing for sure – the initial intimate experiences with this person will not be extremely comforting or pleasure giving, if you go in without doing your own set of homework.
How do you identify this type of person – go beyond the generic traits you usually observe. People these days work really well on their outer behaviour. Look for subtler clues – how does this person react under pressure? When you ask them more about their personal life, do they give open ended answers or head right to the real facts? Was your relationship initiated by you or by this person? Are they rule abiding or they have a rogue side to themselves?
Once you have determined the type of partner you have, it is easy to take things ahead. Just do the following:
- Ensure you comfort them by keeping them in a zone they are familiar with.
- Keep giving them feedback on what you are liking and what you aren’t.
- If they are not doing something the right way, help them out.
If you follow these steps, soon you’ll see your partner dropping her/his inhibitions and coming on the same plane with you. After that, sky is the limit for your pleasure!
The Fetish Person
This person is totally on the other end of the spectrum. She or he is very self-aware and expects a lot in terms of your involvement. There is nothing wrong about fetishes as far as they are within the bounds of your safety and are consensual in nature.
People have all types of fetishes from BDSM to foot to something else. These are by no means a reflection of how much they love you or whether they are in the relationship for the long haul or for the short run. These are just preferences they have as a human being, just like you have yours for food, clothes and everything else.
If you have identified that your partner has a few very impacting fetishes, you can start doing the following:
- Understand their preferences from an objective point of view. Talk to them about what is it exactly that they expect, in as much detail as possible.
- Now, understand – are you ready to indulge in this? Ultimately, you have to determine how much you value the relationship. If you want to work on it, you can go with the flow and explore things with your partner the way she/he likes. If their preferences are beyond your limits, you can tell them that you can’t take it up at the moment and maybe, at some stage later, you would be comfortable in indulging in it with them; best case – you can meet in the middle and find an ideal spot for both of you.
The Lover in a Hurry
This type of partner would have a very demanding day job or is just not organized in life. If you see your partner in this category, you might have become a lot dissatisfied with your recent experiences since they had to rush in the middle of everything or they just aren’t able to give you the time you need. There is still a way to fix this.
Do the following:
- Sit with your partner and understand her/his schedule. There are a lot of people in the world who are running extremely busy round the clock and still have fulfilling relationships. You just have to understand the schedule of your partner and be available if possible, when they are less under load.
- The above point is a good starting phase, but not a fix all solution. You cannot let go of your own life to accommodate your partner all the time. Hence, you will have to set a bar for giving up on things to a certain extent. The advantage here is – when your partner sees you sacrifice things for her/him, she/he will want to do the same for you, if she/he believes in the relationship as much as you do.
The Moody Lover
Of everyone on this list, these type of lovers are most difficult ones to live with. They have an erratic personality and are seldom on a different level of energy than you are. They have become this type of person due to their own human experiences and this does not mean they cannot be good lovers to you.
For all the volatility in behaviour you might have to deal with, you will also enjoy a lot of spontaneity. The common ground here can be attained only by communicating to your partner that you too have needs at certain points and you too have constraints of time. This is a scenario, where you would have to make them understand your side of the story.
You can also do the following:
- Understand what ticks your partner off and what turns your partner on.
- Usually, you will see a pattern in the change of behaviour, even if your partner is erratic.
- Check whether your partner is going through stress and hence is behaving in such a manner or whether these traits are chronic to her/him. If it’s a temporary phase, you should sit and talk to your partner to sort things out. If she/he has always been this way, you should decide whether your relationship is worth the effort you will have to put in just calming your partner down time and again.
The Perfect Lover
This lover understands your mood, knows what you like, takes an initiative when necessary and lets you lead the other times, knows when she/he is supposed to give in and also knows when she/he is supposed to dominate. The most prevalent trait of this lover is – that she/he does not exists. Yes, no lover can be so perfect from day one, unless she/he has been spying on you for years!
The fact is, that each category of lover mentioned here, can be your perfect lover, if you and your partner are ready to acknowledge and adapt to each other’s needs.
If you have identified the type of lover you have or saw yourself in one of these categories, it is time to take some action before you get some action! Go through the KamukLife website and see what will work for you or partner in helping you enhance your romantic experiences. Happy Love Making!